You Need to Feel Your Pain

We live in a time of multiple addictions. People leap at insensitivity. No one knows the value of feeling what is going on inside. They leave treatment to the experts while personally checking out. Not feeling pain has become vastly commercial. Adds everywhere as well as from personal pushers present drugs as offering wonderful highs which turn out to be brief to be followed by terrible falls and confusion.

One uses a drug to take away the pain. But taking away our pain is a  personally significant if not a life-threatening mistake. If you do not feel your pain, you are not driven to find its cause. It is like skating on thin ice wearing goggles painted black. Your pain is not the problem even though you have been taught to think it is which makes  removing pain your solution. If  your symptom signifies thin or broken ice, removing the flag which signals danger may cause you to fall in and drown.

It is personally dangerous taking pills not to feel your misery. As an opium drug addict, or a mixer alcohol and downers, you may end up dying. Most people blame drugs for your demise. But the real and underlying problem which led to this is that your life is horribly empty and you feel helpless. You are a family rejected or sexually abused recent or even not so recent child who knows no way out. We do not recover from such abuse alone. You lack a helpful parent, lover, friend, guidance person to take your hand, value you and help you.

Taking pills keeps the doctors, drug stores, drug factories going full swing. The drug taker supports this complex industry by being its dependent victim. How many doctors seek a cure rather than keep you in a chronically ill, pill-taking state:”… see you in 3-3-9 months. Here is your appointment.” Taking pills like Valium keeps you plodding along in a loveless marriage where you do not discuss your discontent. It keeps you indifferent to your children who hate you in its wake. It allows you to engage in anti-social behavior without feeling pangs of conscience. Once high, nothing is real.

There are plenty of alternative, non-destructive, ways to heal cancer, diabetes, M.S., AIDs, Lupus, etc.. But these are not taught in medical school largely because a pharmaceutical business  cannot own the food or herbs to heal you which are natural and long present. They  cannot be patented and sold at inflated prices. Not taking the natural approach leads us to take the often useless or destructive chemicals and somatic invasions that don’t cure the disease and even lead to death.

Say we have a slow-growing tumor, 10 years old and ready to grow another 10 unnoticed. It is discovered by our doctor who predicatively panics and demands we have it removed, yesterday. The operation is done taking out the tumor and nearby organs, muscles, flesh, veins, nerves. It is followed by chemotherapy via life threatening poisonous chemicals which destroy our immune system so that the cancer is sure to return. The next level of invasion called “protective,” is cutting off the adjacent organs deemed likely to be invaded like the breast. If the problem is in our prostate, radioactive “seeds” are inserted there. Can you imagine the effect this has on your body? You have  fallen into the medical ditch and are unlikely to get out.

Say you are unhappy about your marriage, job and family. Do you investigate what is wrong there and what you can do about it? Do you talk to your partner? Or do you resort to pills, grass, booze, have flimsy affairs which may end the marriage? The child within your mind pleads with you to try different life experiences. The drug-oriented adult say no to this because he wants instant relief. The drug taker closes the door to change.

To all people suffering pain from any source, it ‘s possible to try a new approach and another one after that if still unsatisfied. When experiencing the wonders of an experiential and investigative life, the source of the trouble is removed and the pain goes away.

Get my book Unloved Again today! Email me directly at elangolomb@gmail.com in order to get your signed copy. Hardcover ($25 including shipping) and Paperback ($16 including shipping) versions available. Payment collected via PayPal.

 

 

 

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Texting Can Be an Addiction

We see texting all around us, reacting with shock, amazement, disgust and fear. We feel panic when someone driving has their eyes focused on their lap sending a message. What if they miss the light? what if their foot goes to brake instead of gas and we ram them? We see signs that say no texting while driving. The issue is being noticed by those in charge of safety. Many do not listen. The urge is far too strong.

Admittedly, especially city people have a youth population which has fads in which many  get on board. I remember the slinky, a toy consisting of a flexible helical spring that can be made to somersault down steps. It had an aura of magic since children  did not understand the pull of gravity. Many had to have one.

Would I call this need addictive? No. Wanting to have one had nothing to do with its being a cover-up. An addiction has to do with covering up personal misery, keeping it from yourself. The more we cover up early and severe misery the larger it grows. Only direct experience and understanding is the cure. You have to mourn a loss to recover.

Texting is entirely something else. If it has to do with the early misery of disconnection, its  pain is ever growing due to our need to deny. Children adapt to what they must but adaptation can have serious flaws. Adaptation to something unpleasant which means “forget it” is no solution.  Our money-needy culture has a great deal of early disconnection as its by-product. The child’s loss is accepted and even rationalized as a good thing by the parent’s and by society. What else are they to do? Being with a variety of strangers is said to help the young child learn to socialize when the opposite is true. Clinging to a friend who clings to you is not a sign of early development. Clinging to the parent who happily embraces you is entirely something else.

Both parents working outside the home is common now. The kid sees its parents, at bedtime, a little more on the weekends although many parents go to a second-weekend job. The child has babysitters, often different ones each week rather the same one for childhood; the absent parents put their child into play groups for children as young as two. Sometimes they are refused until they can use a toilet.

The child is cared for by parent-substitutes who do it for a wage and often are changed by the parents for one who is “better” or by the worker who seeks better pay. The idea of constant care is not considered. This series of caretakers undermines growing the security of attachment. The child does not learn to trust. The world is insecure.

For children subjected to a series of caretakers develop an experiential hole which is never filled. This is the space of secure attachment. To anthropomorphize the experience, the hole is always crying out the pain of its disconnection. The older child cannot call to the Mommy of childhood. Her memory does not exist. Her absence is written in their nerves. They go to second best, which is no solution because a true cure removes our ills.  Texting is a cover-up. The person has to constantly text (and call) and text again. Texting is like putting noise into a system so as to not hear its roar of emptiness.

If you want to test my theory about texting, do an experiment. Do not text for a week. Watch your feelings during this time of restraint. See what ideas come to mind. If early deprivation is the source of your need to text, taking the lid of distraction off the Pandora’s box, memory and feeling may flood the mind with what part of you has been so strenuously ignored.

If nothing of this nature comes to mind, you still need to question what is driving you to text. It is good to investigate our motivation.

Keep Learning

What keeps adults from doing what needs to be done or even from finding out what needs to be done and how to do it. What keeps them from acting on what they know? There are many factors. Let us start with what how the world is shaping us, what it says and how we listen. People in power or those who want  to have it set themselves up as spokespeople presumably for our welfare.

Their definition and our definition of welfare rarely coincide. It is a good idea to ask what’s the payoff when someone gives directions. The oil and gas and coal industries do not want to be shut down. They get congress to support them via monetary contributions. These bought elected officials are pushed to speak of solar and wind power as inadequate and not to fund their development. They are pushed to heavily tax rivals to oil, gas and coal. The corporate goal is to stall production which discourages ownership.

The basic principle of a corporation is to expand without end. While peculiarly labeled a person by Congress, they are a mechanical process. People at the corporate top have enormous salaries so are seduced into repeating and possibly even believing tales of their destructive product’s harmlessness. Most newspapers are owned by corporations which shape the news. What they say is slanted. One has to read very widely about what is happening to the environment to understand our current climate instability. It is best to read what is written by members of groups not ensconced in Washington which have joined the “get mine” crowd.

Unfortunately and probably commonly, a sell-out occurs where profit is available, even for those who feature an image of sacrifice. For example, The National Audubon Society inherited property that had oil. The Audubon Society drilled thirty-seven wells in the Paul J. Rainey Wilderness Sanctuary in Louisiana alone. The group’s efforts have produced one successful crude oil well, and fifteen successful natural gas wells, which bring $2 million into Audubon’s coffers annually. The public is generally not aware of this and Audubon does not readily volunteer the information. According to Audubon, digging for oil not OK if it is done by someone else somewhere else.

Would you trust a person who claims to be on the side of integration who belongs to the Ku Klux Clan on weekends?

Do not fall for exaggerated claims, for gilded images, false promises, scenes arranged by producers to please and convince you. Ask questions. Make comparisons. Do outside investigation so as not to be caught by grandiose statements, humanitarian promises and possible lies. If it takes time, take time. Do not be rushed to decide.

Let pride not figure in your education.  Don’t be proud of what you know. Discard  the old when it doesn’t work. Try things out. Move onto the new. Do not be wed to the past. The more you look, the more you see. Scary but exciting.