Submissive Women

It is unusual that I can make it to a tenant’s meeting in my apartment building due to the late hours I keep in my career. But having some time off from work I was able to make it. The man in charge, a very big man with a big voice led the discussion. Occasionally, though, a second man on the panel, spoke up. There were a few long-winded residents, particularly a woman who loved to argue yet could not come to a conclusion. Sprawling, inconclusive speech is both a passive-aggressive attack on the listener as well as a sign of inadequacy in the speaker.

What was extremely noticeable was that the elected women on the panel mostly said nothing. One questioned about the cost of some parts spoke about getting a low price on a construction job. For this she was complimented by the top man. She was the most outspoken of the women. But what it came to bringing up new matters, from the women, there was not a peep.

I found their silence very frustrating and very typical. Women do not take an independent position when men exert their power. Is this our training in our society (and in many societies)? If you speak up, you are labeled unfeminine, a bitch. If you do not speak up, you are labeled passive, unable to take a leadership position. It is your learned subservient role. On Nazi Germany under Hitler, it as the 3 K’s for women, Kirche, Kuche and Kinder (Church, cooking and children.)

How did this come about and why do we let it continue? Women are more than 50% of the population. Where do they put their power? Iceland threw out the bankers who were ruining the economy with their risky self-serving investments of their client’s money and put women in charge. You may not know it but Iceland is considered to have the most intelligent population in the world. It takes brain power to make independent decisions.

I know how to feel afraid that I don’t fit in. Women take the mike but do not make sense, who ramble aimlessly sounding incompetent are part of our learned role. We are supposed to sign in awe when Mr. Man fixes something. Women do not go for the sciences, to math, to physics or computers because these are in man’s world. Who decides? How do we distinguish between innate gifts and the role that was assigned us?

There is only 1 way. Go do the forbidden thing, read the topic, learn the skills your interest requires. Work until you get it. Giving in supports having an inadequate self-image. Abandon assigned roles. Don’t fit in with woman’s dodo image. Speak up but speak precisely to your point. Celebrate individual, creativity. Celebrate your life.

 

 

 

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Submissive Women

Went to a meeting in my apartment building the other day, unusual for me to be able to attend since my work outside the building usually keeps late hours. The man in charge, a very big man with a big voice generally led the discussion. Once in a while, a second man on the panel, spoke up. There were a few long-winded residents, particularly a woman who loved to argue and could not come-to- a conclusion. Inadequate speech is both a passive-aggressive attack on the listener as well as a sign of inadequacy.

What was extremely noticeable was that the elected women on the panel mostly said nothing. One questioned about the cost of some repairs. One spoke of getting a low price on some needed item or construction job. For this she was complimented by the top man. and it’s true she was the most outspoken of the women. But when it came to a discussion of affairs already way or bringing up new matters, from the women, not a peep.

I found their silence very frustrating and also very typical. Women do not take an independent position when men exert their power. It is in our training. In our society (and in many societies) f you speak up you are labeled unfeminine, castrating, a bitch. If you do not speak up, you are labeled passive, unable to take a leadership position. In your learned subservient role. In Nazi Germany under Hitler, it was the 2 K’s for women: Kirche, Kuche and Kinder (Church, cooking and children).

How did this insanity come about and why do we let it continue? Women are more than 50 % of the population. Where do they put their power? Iceland threw out the bankers who were ruining the economy with their risky, self-serving investments and put women in charge. You may not know it but Iceland is considered to have the most intelligent population in the world. It takes brain power to made independent decisions.

I know the feeling of fear, of being afraid you don’t fit in. I wonder at women who take the mike who do not make sense. Sounding incompetent is part of our learned role. We are supposed to sigh in awe when Mr. Man fixes something. Women do not go to the sciences, to math, to physics, to computers, because these are a man’s world. Who decided? How do we distinguish between our innate gifts and the role that was assigned to us?

There is only one way. Go do the forbidden thing, read the topic, learn the skills your interest requires. Work until you get it. Giving in supports having an inadequate image. Most people under estimate the time they take to learn to understand and do something. Don’t listen to anyone tell you how long a project takes. Work at it until it is done to your satisfaction. Abandon assigned roles. Don’t fit in with a woman as dodo image. Celebrate individuality, creativity. Celebrate your life.

Climate March

I Grieve for Mother Earth

The greedy mad men have taken over. They intend to harvest the life-force of this world. They believe they will survive after dragging oil pipes through wetlands and under rivers, pipes almost always breaking and spreading oil into the now-undrinkable water, then selling what’s left to those who burn it and spread hot pollution into the air; they cut down and sell entire forests ignoring that trees create oxygen and sequester CO2. They take the money from welfare and Medicare and Medicaid calling the Government too “broke” to pay it. They make it hard for people to vote against those who enact these deed by jerry rigging the voter population to cut down power of opponents and by phony listing them as registered in more than one state using a resource of barely resembling names. (See Greg Palast’s, The Best Democracy Money can buy.)

They remove government sponsored social support (paid for by our taxes). Currently there is a battle over planned Parenthood due to their sponsoring abortion, perhaps 3% of their income. But what about PP’s family planning and other services? Women are to be screwed again. They eliminate reasonable but not free insurance like is offered in almost all western nations and almost everywhere else. They plan to not cover pre-existing conditions and to jump the fees on the aged population, thereby kicking them out of insurance. Another current battle. They take away funds from the EPA, whose boss doesn’t believe in Global Warming). The discarded EPA concerns preservation of parks and animals and the air we breathe and the water we drink. The corporate mind wants to use (up) the wild. They want to eliminate the CDC which analyzes the effect of drugs and says what is marketable. All these agencies limit corporate profit. The millionaire and billionaire “leaders” can’t have that! We, the voter population ignore that congress is paid off by corporations which writes the laws the Congress “votes” on.

Then there is war. The government sees enemies everywhere, on mountain tops and in jungles. We pour tax money into “defending” us against their imagined force. We make war against indigenous peoples, some of them fighting each other but far away from us. War is a business. There are winners who are paid to create the tools of destruction and there are prizes, like the natural resources of conquered nations. Hate and killing begets hate and killing. Grudge fights travel down through the generations. We remain a vengeful warring nation.

Get into a 1984 state of mind with Big Brother watching you. Scream with hate at the current enemy. Believe that less food is more food. Don’t notice the torturers and the rich. Forget your memory of events including times you loved, and breathed free. Letting others define reality, you sink into their sea of greed.

Suddenly I am afraid to write. Think of negative consequences of speaking out. But what tossed me into the frightened bin was writing by Chris Hedges, a magnificent thinker about the coming abyss. Speaking of those who know and fight back, he said they will be arrested: first to go of our nation’s “enemies” are the Muslims, then Afro-Americans, then Jews, then rebellious women; then intellectuals, then the greens… writers, scholars, people unable or unwilling to submit. These people have to be eliminated so that money-making destruction can proceed unimpeded.

Chris Hedges spoke of living another way, one not based on lies and hate; not on being winners which means that everybody loses, not on seeking self-importance which means your sense of self feels empty. Hedges says, we are to create communities that are self-sustaining; not funded by nation or state, no money earned, no taxes paid. We bring together skills and labor. We are self-governing. There are no CEOs. Our time, energy, talents are shared.

We learn new things as well as resurrect the old. We use heirloom seeds to create strong and healthy plants, not living in a Monsanto trap. No gene splicing to create plants that can withstand poisonous sprays (whose poisoned fruit/stem/leaves/root we eat. We have lady bugs to keep insect life in check, bees to fertilize every flowering plant. We companion plant what we grow with things that are mutually advantageous like seaweed or like the Indians did who buried a fish at the base of each corn. We will not eat food our body cannot recognize as nutritious. We throw nothing away. Everything is recycled. We use animals to haul and dig and crap which we gather and age for eventual soil enrichment. We compost to create new soil. We are gentle to the animals including the wild so that they are kind to us. We do not resent sharing a little of our harvest. We use non-polluting energy resources.

We are alarmed by the endless outpouring of Fukushima radiation. The Pacific has been destroyed. How are we to survive the endlessly increasing man-created onslaughts, moving us towards extinction? Whatever the outcome and we need to grieve our losses but still pursue the path of love.

We stop leading a lonely life. The living world is our family.

Attend Climate March tomorrow in DC or locally at 10 AM at Long Beach.

See you. Elan Golomb

 

 

 

 

Recognize A Lie

You cannot tell another’s lie if you are a liar. If you lie, you assume that everyone does it. The clarity of the  litmus paper of truth is stained by your falsehood so that you cannot see through. Blindness is caused by avoiding the rules of morality which bring us all together. If we lie, we believe that everyone is a liar and do not feel guilty for doing it. We come to have no belief except in the power of us versus them, our lying enemies.

Where do we need to feel the location of truth when testing our own reaction?  Is knowing the truth, a head operation? According to the American Indian (I forget which tribe,) we find truth in our heart. If what we think and do heals and feeds the “other” as well as self, it is truth. If decisions come exclusively from your mind, .. you are crazy which means out of touch with reality.

In knowing whether someone speaks the truth, ask who “who benefits?” If you or the party or organization is the sole winner, you/they/it lie. If your seeing and knowing are limited, if what you think, do and say is blinded by fear, is it a lie? Yes but not your fault. Your thinking has been corralled and distorted by the family, group distortions, by propaganda rained down on you thinking from childhood on.

Do the heart-designated lying words engender fear of the designated enemy so that you will use weapons to kill in order to protect self/family/nation, who/what benefits from this war? Never stop asking where goes the flow of money and power from your violence.

If you are pushed into feeling the false power of group excitement, you are lying to yourself. If you can stand on your own two feet and feel your connection with life around you, you are more in touch with truth.

With heart over head, see what moves you. Be willing to learn more and change in that direction. A heart response takes you out of the loneliness of egomania and false connection to ideas and movements which engender disaster.

Do not be taken in. Remember to always ask if it is a lie.

First You Crumble

I just did a little bit of a mourning dance feeling emotionally black. Got kicked out of a newspaper for mentioning my book at the bottom of my blog as self-serving. Had not looked at their rules before I did this and so uninformed. I felt the sadness of loss. Felt angry at myself for stupidly following another’s advice with insufficient understanding. Whose fault? Mine alone.

After losing something you value and to which you attach some aspect of your welfare, feelings of loss will happen. Anything we care about leaves a hole in the self when it is taken away. That hole is experienced as depression.  Feeling angry at the self for being stupid is something else. Self-attack is not a necessary accompaniment of learning although some think it so. They say “no pain no gain.” The philosophy of suffering becomes an excuse for mistreating  yourself, your lover, your child, …employee, anyone you want to  “learn” something, Sadistic behavior usually is usually learned by undergoing your parent’s mistreatment. The way out of self-hatred is to take a position which says no to the impulse to harm self or other. It is a stance which says, “I’m not going that way.” You need to put a period on your history of mistreatment. Look at your childhood experience  in order to consign it to  the past.

What happens after a person you love dies? This is a mighty hole to go through. You have to feel sad. In the experience of mourning, you become unmotivated, are in an arrested state. You read books of fantasy that take your mind to a nowhere place, you read books whose themes occupy your mind. You socialize with people who care. They bring food which you eat together while sharing memories of the deceased one which make you laugh and cry. You go back and forth, empty then full then empty again until you no longer are preoccupied with your loss.

You are in a crumble. That which once held you together is no longer available or  possible or no longer works. It is necessary to go through the maze of loss until suddenly you find yourself outside. You remember the loss but there is distance now between you and it. Some still weep at the time of the loved one’s birthday, smile when remembering their wedding day, and other times of joy. It is a mighty emotional house cleaning remembering the good and weeping about your loss.

It is a bad idea to think you must mourn forever, that you should never have another lover or mate or spouse to prove that you love the deceased. To think that the loved person would not let you love again does not represent their love for you. They loved you and wanted you to be happy then and now. Your love for them does not end because you now love another.

Hooray for the crumble. Crumbling is a falling apart of the old way so that a new way of thinking/feeling/being is created by the force of life.  Every time we move onto something new, we have to let go of the old or to stand on its shoulders. We lack a thing/behavior to cling to. We have to find our balance. We have to find parts of the self to develop and to see aspects of the world we had not seen before. Growth is a process of loss and then gain. We have to move into a warrior position in the world of love and understanding.

Get my book Unloved Again today! Email me directly at elangolomb@gmail.com in order to get your signed copy. Hardcover ($25 including shipping) and Paperback ($16 including shipping) versions available.Payment collected via Squareup.com/store/elangolomb.

Payment collected via Squareup.com/store/elangolomb.

 

Conditioning Versus Insight

Thank you to Gary Null, a survival activist for getting me to look at conditioning as often automatically enacted but not for our own good. Why in the world do we adults do this? Why do allow minor mishaps or major destructive changes enter the world like fracking or oil trains as if we have no choice? Feeling helpless, we turn away from the problem. Feeling frightened of the problem as well as of those who call the outcome of doing it totally wonderful and harmless, the outcome of  not doing it a loss, we turn away from the problem and turn off our minds. Some go so far as to deny that the problem exists. They say that global warming is only a theory, not a scientifically supported fact. If enough naysayers raise their voiced together it becomes more believable, at least to them.

In going along with things via a conditioning response, are we like children clinging to our parents who say don’t worry and I am taking care of you? This tendency begins in childhood with protective parents but why does it remain in adulthood? Is it an on/off reaction depending on the perceived danger? The more dangerous the more conditioned the response.

Fear can make us retreat to childhood. When we are afraid of something we turn to those who claim to know better than we do like children seeking their parent’s protection. We do it even though we actually know a lot of information and have observations that differ. We let our frightened emotions rule us. We also have a scary history about murder being inflicted on those who break the mold and stand alone. Often, the murderer is presented by the press as a solitary and deranged killer although history shows that often, the murderer is a “front man” for a person or organization that wants the to-be-murdered person removed.

Lincoln who freed the slaves was shot by John Wilkes Booth; Martin Luther King, Jr. who supported a successful bus strike in Montgomery Alabama was shot on the balcony of the Lorraine Motel. People heard multiple shots but only one gunman was reported. The scene of the crime was dismantled overnight so that no investigation could occur. Malcolm X who told blacks to own their own businesses, their homes, their land, was shot.

Citizen’s power comes from where they spend their money. A population totally dissatisfied with losing their  jobs to countries whose workers accept pitiful wages, still buy the garments, TV, cars, stuff made there. They see the label Made in China/Bangladesh and buy it anyway.  They  guiltily smile when they notice it. Laughter helps us ease even deny our pain.  Humor helps us deal with unavoidable tragedy but is not properly used to go along with negative events which are imposed upon us.  We who buy stuff made in other countries support the loss of our jobs. We need to look at labels and choose what is made here for our own sake.

TV floods us with advertisements to make us feel that we are sorely lacking something, the very thing they are selling. Advertising encourages us to  compete with the Joneses. Looking at what others have makes us feel inadequate. President Bush’s response to 9/11 was to say, “Go shopping” to quiet our minds. It seems he also was confused about what to say and do.

The problem of our going along with what we are told to do but shouldn’t is one of conditioning. We are first conditioned  by our parents who direct us to protect us and then by “leaders” who applaud a lock-step reaction to their plans. Rare individuals see the necessity of doing it their own way whether or not others agree. You cannot stop falling in line until you see that you automatically do it. There needs to be an internal assessment before you decide. By thinking and feeling first, your conditioning stops being a natural response. There is a struggle between being part of a group  and standing in your own space. You may feel less alone if you  join the world of living things as members of a family. What is good for that larger world is good for us all.

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The Evil of the Lesser

We, the human race and all the species cohabiting Mother Earth, are zooming into the 6th Anthropocene extinction.  It is a matter of whether we can change our ways right now for the survival of earth dwellers, man, beast, plant….

People running for office thanks to the huge popularity of Bernie Sanders are speaking a little bit more about having a $15 minimum wage and free college. These ideas are nice to hear but given the personal history or those running for office,  previous behavior is the only thing to trust rather than words they say to win favor.

Most politicians are not environmentalists. At least in part needing corporate money to run for office, they are extractors who treat the earth like an orange. Squeeze it to release the juice and throw the skin away. They worship power. They believe in increasing their “stuff.” They want to spread their empire but label it doing good. In the time of Columbus the good was spreading their religion. Now good is that the encroaching forces of empire offer protection against resisters labeled terrorist who first are armed with stones and arrows.

What percentage of US politicians are not millionaires? These so-called “leaders” do not know what average people suffer because they dwell in personal privilege. They do not recognize that survival is a collective affair. They feel safe while having more of this and that  protected by walls topped with glass. Hillary Clinton was paid 6 figures for lecturing to Goldman Sachs. She was once a Po’ gal but she certainly is not that now. Can she discredit the extractor needs of Wall Street since she is in their debt? Can she carry out her current stated intention or is it even a wish rather than a posture?

Corporations which seek to own the world are extractive. They are after what they can get from Mother Earth: coal, oil, gas, nuclear materials, substances that will destroy us. When confronted with the need to change, they stall as long as possible. Even if their money making substance is running out, they search for more. Regarding treatment of  their workers, profit goes up when wages go down. Keeping jobs in times of scarcity ensures that the wages will be at their lowest. People will take a job at any price rather than starve and die.

Extractors do not look for the larger good. Extraction has a one-point focus. It focuses on itself. Public funded colleges are extremely sensible. The economy of a society depends on it. But the corporate extractive mind is not affiliated with a nation. Its only focused on its bankbook. Its location is nowhere. If schools are too expensive, corporations can import workers from nations with good schools. If fracking spoils our drinking water and makes the people sick, owners will deny it. If tar sands oil trains explode in towns and kill people, owners will fund minor repairs to keep them running. Eventually, the oil will be sold for so much money. How can they resist?

Everywhere we see death occurring as a consequence of greed. We call the unintended death collateral damage. People are dying due to drones hitting the wrong target or the right target which includes innocent bystanders. The Navy’s undersea testing of sound equipment deafens and murders whales and other creatures that can hear; Using fossil fuels which drive machinery are drying the earth, creating irreversible drought and forest fires, offering no water to raise the crops which feed us. Water is sold to the richest buyers including Nestles. Forget the rest of us; collateral damage.

We live in a time of increasing scarcity where those who have the bucks get more and better stuff. They think that little is running out. For the broad population, the cost of food is increasingly out of reach. Health care is disappearing with its copays and deductibles if you can afford insurance. Some doctors charge $2600 per year to be available. They call themselves “concierges.” You still pay for their services, Congress debates whether to keep Social Security which they claim to be bankrupt but isn’t. If they do not continue to use (steal from) her funds, it can last another 50 years. But the centripetal force of greed wants to absorb that too.

Those who would profit from extraction will continue until death knocks at their door. Me- first-ism  focuses on the I instead of we. It attempts to alarm folk by stimulating paranoid fear so that they turn against each other rather than against the actual “takers.” It sets the anti-fracking environmentalists against the Black Lives Matter people against the farmers not wanting to be sprayed in the field and to make a living wage. It sets whites against Muslims, believers against non-believers, workers against immigrants against the undocumented folk fleeing from societies turned into slaughter mills by the poisonous attack of those who want their natural resources.

We need international unions so that no one anywhere including in our prisons is paid less than a living wage. Our reintroduction of prison slavery is for the benefit of the few. Like in other civilized nations, the imprisoned need to be entitled to vote. There will be no solitary confinement to turn sane men mad. Prisons will teach marketable skills to be used when the prisoners are released. And they are released.

The only way out of this 6th great extinction is for all groups to work together with an emphasis on saving the environment. Free public education is offered. The only money for campaigning is given by the Federal government. A plurality voting system is installed.  First place, second place ….given to the chosen candidates. The one with the most votes wins. We need a documented voter counting system, one not dependent on privately owned computers and their programs. We need to make it illegal not to vote.

Single payer health care will be available for all. Solar and wind power will be free or cheap. Organic food will be widely available. Public parks great and small will be maintained. No longer take-over by realtors. We will accept all cultures and religions including non-believers. It is up to us to open our doors to those who are imperiled. If we do this, the evil of the lesser will be totally irrelevant and cannot happen.