A Dog Is God Joking (Good Humored, Of Course)

Do you notice how dogs stretch your sense of humor, doing something wrong they know full well but enjoy enflaming your passions with few consequences.  I remember Effie, my beloved German Shepherd doing what she always did which got me to shriek at her while remaining stricken in place lest I cause a great disaster. Wow, that really got her off.

I had a huge fake Chinese Wedgewood blue and white vase painted with a mill scene. It was placed close to the living room wall but not against it. This very graceful but big dog which rarely missed her step would walk behind the vase instead of walking past it, clearly and totally unnecessary to get where she wanted to go – let’s face it behind the vase was where she wanted to go and with a purpose.

The vase shook on its base, a little back and forth like a shiver, not falling not standing, that indeterminate phase which causes an immediate heart to stand still in the watcher. Oh no. Can’t stop her, can’t catch it, can only watch. I scream “fuck you” to the dog which seems to grin my way and I mean grin. You know when your dog is smiling.

Then the vase settles in its place and the dog has already marched on. You curse your dog with a smile and even laugh, ”Ha ha ha.”You did it again you rascal. Your dog looks very innocent but you are not fooled. A dog who practically speaks English cannot learn that she is not to walk behind the vase. Nobody’s fool, that dog.

Do you love the dog better or worse for doing it? What a question. Come on, admit it. You love it better. The dog does not have the subservience to the one it loves as you had with your parents. The dog knows I love her but dislikes the part of me which identified with those bullies. It frequently and readily puts us in our disempowered place.

Part of me identifies with the dog. If a dog can do it, so can I. Thanks to Effie my canine alter ego.

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